confused

I don't know what I do with me love life. I don't trust anyone anymore :s. It's all because of my

ex-girlfriend. She cheated on me so many times that i lost count and I forgave her because of "the love". Now I don't trust anyone even myself. I don't know if I believe in the person in front of me or not even if we are friends. Now I'm in a relationship and I can't trust her even if i didn't see anything wrong from her. I'm confused. :(

Till me God what to do. :'(

5 a.m

I woke up in the meddle of the night. I was lost and confused. I couldn't thing of anything except for the reason I'm a wake. I started thinking why did I remember her now after all this time. After we became friends. Why did I woke up feeling like shit?? Did I missed her??! Did I want her back??!

Oh, I don't know a thing :s. I'm so so confused.

I don't know what to do??!

I watched you being with some one alse who is not me.

I watched you with her and I was dying slowly, till I become a living dead body.

I stand still while you were with her and my heart was breaking into pieces.

I stand still watching you with her and a gap grows inside me.

I stand still hearing you talking about her to me and I become deaf slowly.

I stand still while your heart loving some one alse while my heart beating so slow that I thought I'm dead.

I stand still seeing yu walking so far away from me, that you couldn't see me falling and breakinginto thousand pieces.

I wish you could see who love you the most.